Getting Emotional Support During a Tough Transition (such as Divorce)

Introduction

In today's blog, we will discuss the importance of emotional support during tough transitions such as divorce, loss of a loved one, or a serious diagnosis. While we will primarily focus on divorce as an example, the concepts apply to various difficult life situations. It is essential to recognize the need for emotional support and find the right sources to help you navigate these challenging times.

The Surprising Lack of Expected Support

It can be surprising and disheartening when the places we expect to find support do not offer the help we need. This is a common experience for many individuals going through tough transitions, including divorce. Sometimes, we have given a lot of support to others, but it is not reciprocated when we need it the most. In such situations, it is crucial not to dwell on the lack of support and instead seek it elsewhere.

Lack of Support from Spouse's Family

During a divorce, it is common for individuals to realize that the support they once received from their spouse's family suddenly disappears. Even if you were close to your in-laws or extended family members, the dynamics change during a divorce. The family may rally around their blood relative, leaving you feeling isolated and unsupported. This realization can be unexpected and challenging to cope with during an already difficult time.

Lack of Support from Your Own Family

Similarly, many individuals going through a divorce find themselves surprised by the lack of emotional support from their own families. One would assume that family members would be there to help navigate the challenging transition, but this is not always the case. Families with a history of trauma may lack the emotional resilience and capacity to support their loved one effectively. Additionally, the divorcing individual's family may be dealing with their own emotional turmoil related to the divorce, making it difficult for them to provide the necessary support.

Religious Perspectives and Lack of Support

In some cases, religious families may withhold support during a divorce due to their belief that marriage is a covenant that should not be broken. Regardless of the reasons for the divorce, these families may view it as unacceptable and, therefore, refuse to offer any emotional support. This can be particularly challenging for individuals seeking comfort from their religious community and finding themselves unsupported.

Finding Support in Unexpected Places

While the lack of support from expected sources can be disheartening, it is essential to remember that support can come from various places. Here are some alternative sources of support:

Close Friends and Siblings

Close friends and siblings who understand your situation can provide invaluable emotional support during tough transitions. These individuals may have a deeper understanding of your experiences and can offer a listening ear and advice when needed. Lean on those who have consistently shown up for you and reciprocate the support they provide.

Professionals: Therapists, Life Coaches, and Pastors

During challenging times, it may be beneficial to seek support from professionals such as therapists, life coaches, or pastors. These professionals have experience guiding individuals through transitions and can provide a safe space for you to process your emotions. They can offer an objective perspective, free from the biases and judgments that may exist within your family or social circle.

Support Groups

Many churches and organizations run support groups for individuals experiencing significant loss or life changes. These support groups bring together people who are going through similar situations and can provide a sense of community and understanding. Whether it's a divorce, death, diagnosis, or job loss, participating in a support group can help you connect with others who can offer empathy and support during your journey.

12-Step Programs

For individuals who have been high achievers and accustomed to controlling their lives, going through a divorce can be particularly challenging. In such cases, 12-step programs like Al-Anon can be beneficial. These programs offer a structured approach to support and provide resources for individuals navigating transitions they cannot fully control. Participating in a 12-step program can be a valuable learning experience, allowing individuals to develop resilience and acceptance.

Conclusion

Regardless of the challenging transition you may be facing, it is crucial to recognize the need for emotional support. While it can be disheartening when expected sources of support fall short, there are various alternative avenues to explore. Seek support from close friends, professionals, support groups, or 12-step programs to find the understanding and guidance you need. Remember, you are not alone, and there are people and resources available to support you through this difficult time.

If you found this blog helpful, please consider checking out my website, SuzanneGrandchamp.com, or my bestselling book now available for download. You'll find a treasure trove of information, tools, and additional resources to help you navigate tough transitions. Remember, marriages may end, but families don't have to. Stay strong and take care of yourself.