Navigating Divorce with High Conflict People

Introduction

Suzanne shares valuable insights on effectively dealing with high conflict personalities during and after a divorce. She introduced the resource BIFF (Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm), pioneered by Bill Eddy in his book: "BIFF: Quick Responses to High Conflict People" as a powerful communication strategy to navigate challenging situations and optimize outcomes.

The Power of BIFF: Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm

Suzanne emphasized the importance of utilizing the BIFF approach when engaging with high conflict individuals. By being brief, direct, and concise in your communication, you can effectively convey your message without unnecessary complications. High conflict personalities often thrive on lengthy and convoluted exchanges, which can escalate tensions. Therefore, keeping things succinct and focused is vital for a successful resolution.

Be Informative: Ask, Limit, and Simplify

To effectively communicate with high conflict personalities, Suzanne recommended being informative. This involves clearly asking for what you want while limiting the conversation to one issue at a time. By doing so, you eliminate confusion, increase clarity, and minimize the potential for misunderstandings. Remember, simplicity and specificity are the keys to unlocking effective communication.

Friendliness Goes a Long Way

While dealing with high conflict individuals, it is crucial to maintain a friendly and polite tone. Suzanne stressed the importance of avoiding rude or impolite language, as it can exacerbate tensions and hinder progress. By remaining calm, respectful, and composed, you can foster an environment conducive to problem-solving, negotiation, and compromise.

The Importance of Firmness: Setting Boundaries and Deadlines

Suzanne urged participants to establish firm boundaries and deadlines when communicating with high conflict individuals. By clearly defining your expectations and limitations, you protect yourself from unnecessary confrontations and maintain a sense of control. Being firm allows you to navigate difficult conversations without compromising your own wellbeing or objectives.

Recommended Resources

During the webinar, Suzanne recommended two valuable resources for dealing with high conflict personalities. The first is "BIFF: Quick Responses to High Conflict People" by Bill Eddy. This book provides practical guidance and ready-to-use responses to effectively communicate with challenging individuals. The second recommended resource is Suzanne's own book, "Marriages End, Families Don't, Divorce Wisely." Drawing on her extensive experience as a divorce attorney, Suzanne offers invaluable insights and advice to individuals going through the divorce process.

Conclusion

Mastering communication with high conflict personalities is an essential skill for anyone navigating the challenges of divorce. By employing the BIFF approach, encompassing being Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm, you can effectively communicate your needs and boundaries while minimizing conflicts.  Remember, adopting a constructive and strategic approach can significantly impact your divorce journey. Equipped with the BIFF strategy and the recommended resources, you are empowered to overcome communication challenges and pave the way to a successful outcome.

For access to Suzanne's best-selling book, head to her online store!