Marriage Vows vs. Partnership Theory

When two people stand at the altar and pledge themselves to each another in marriage, they do so through vows. These vows often go something like “to love, cherish and honor until death do us part.” To me, the statement of the vows is the most poignant part of the marriage ceremony. Why? Because it[…]

Using the Golden Rule for a Wise Divorce

My recent Facebook post featuring a quote by Catherine Ponder raised a few eyebrows and even drew an expletive as a comment!  If you missed it, here’s the quote: “If you have to force someone or something into your life, that is not part of your good.  What you have to fight to get, you[…]

The Holidays – Gifts and Parenting Time Schedules

The holidays are here! For many, this means celebrating with family and friends, good food, time off from work and maybe a present or two!  But, for those who are either separated or divorced (with or without children), the holidays can add a heaping measure of anxiety, frustration and sometimes even dread. If you have[…]

Divorce: Will the Kids Be Okay?

Are my kids going to be okay if we get divorced? This is probably the number one question most clients have when I meet with them for the first time. What I tell my clients is this:  The research is pretty clear.  Your kids will be changed as a result of the divorce.  Divorce is[…]

Is Divorce the Only Option?

Some people know exactly what they need, when they need it, and how to get it.  The rest of us need to try different options on for size to find out what is the best fit.  Many of us have to sit with things for a while before the way becomes clear.This is often very[…]

All Assets Are Not Created Equal!

During divorce, you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse will need to identify all of your assets, value them, and figure out how to allocate them (that is, determining who gets what). As a part of this, you will need to decide upon the assets you would prefer to have, as well as the assets you are[…]

Taking Blame Out of the Equation – Divorce Wisely

We all do it, don’t we?  We blame.  Sometimes we blame ourselves.  Sometimes we blame others.  There’s a certain addictive quality to the righteousness, and the closure, both of which are part and parcel of fault-finding. Blame is defined as assigning responsibility for a fault or a wrong.  Blame can be directed at ourselves (self-blame)[…]