The Wisdom of Separating Fact from Story

I know that a lot of people (including my divorce clients and me), have to be careful about the stories we tell ourselves.  These stories either supplement, or reduce, our own personal power.  They are the basis of our happiness or they scuttle it. Let’s look at an example.  You and your three best friends[…]

To Spank or Not to Spank

TO SPANK or NOT TO SPANK Research and Thoughts About Corporal Punishment as Discipline As a kid, were you ever spanked, slapped or swatted as a form of discipline?  Did you get the belt when Dad came home?  Was your mouth ever washed out with soap?  Were you whipped with a switch?  If you were,[…]

Finding Comfort and Learning in the Shadow

Whether we’re going through a divorce, or just living life, we all experience a range of emotions – some of which are welcome, comfy, and enjoyable. Others show up like the flu – quickly, without warning and unbidden. Anger, jealousy, doubt, worry, judgment, victim-identification., indifference, comparison sarcasm, moodiness, and a whole host of others comprise this[…]

Is Divorce the Only Option?

Some people know exactly what they need, when they need it, and how to get it.  The rest of us need to try different options on for size to find out what is the best fit.  Many of us have to sit with things for a while before the way becomes clear.This is often very[…]

The Five Stages of Grieving the Death of Your Marriage

Over the years of teaching many divorce information seminars, on two separate occasions I had an attendee who was currently facing divorce, but who had also formerly lost a spouse to death. Each attendee talked about how hard the divorce was in comparison to losing their first spouse to death. With death, they said, there[…]