Butterflies and the Art of Embracing a Difficult Transition

  Have you ever given birth? Recovered from a broken bone? Learned a foreign language? Started a new exercise program or trained to become a long-distance runner? We go through transformation in many ways, but often that transformation involves messiness and discomfort or even pain. During your transforming time, how did you address the discomfort?[…]

Navigating Pain

Pain is ubiquitous and absolutely necessary. Why? It pushes us — beyond all the places in which we are either comfortable or stuck. Without experiencing pain we might stay in an unhealthy relationship, remain in a place which underutilizes our talents, or accept mediocrity when extraordinary is within reach. The very existence of pain in our[…]

Let it Go

NEW YEAR, NEW LIFE SERIES I don’t know that letting go is ever easy. Most of the things I’ve had to let go of, be they relationships, expectations, attachments, hopes, fantasies, misconceptions, you name it, have all had claw marks in them. Releasing the old, and embracing the new, hasn’t been my strong suit. I’m[…]

Personal Growth & Conscious Relationships

Personal Growth The path of personal growth can be painful at times. The ancient Greek dramatist, Aeschylus, describes it as “wisdom through the awful grace of God.” I would modify this quote slightly for my own purposes to say “wisdom hard won through the awful grace of committed personal growth.” Commitment to one’s personal growth[…]

Why We Stay

What do dog trainers, psychologists, casino owners, and parents of toddlers have in common? They are all familiar with the concept of intermittent reinforcement. Intermittent reinforcement occurs when rewards, rules or personal boundaries are given out, or enforced, sporadically.  This encourages the animal, the child or the other adult to keep pushing until they get[…]

Divorce: Forgive For Your Own Good

When my clients ask me about what I would recommend for “required reading” during their divorce, I always mention Dr. Fred Luskin’s book, “Forgive for Good, A Proven Prescription for Health and Happiness.” Dr. Luskin is the co-founder and the director of the Stanford University Forgiveness Project, and conducts an ongoing series of workshops and[…]