Doormat is a Box

NEW YEAR, NEW LIFE SERIES The New Year carries with it the energy of new beginnings. The year is stretched before us fresh, unsullied, untraveled. It’s our unique opportunity to re-evaluate, to try again, to start over with a clean slate. Relationships are often seen through this opportunistic lens at the beginning of a new[…]

Limerence at First Sight

There is a dream in our culture, which is both persistent and misleading. It is the intrusive fantasy of falling head over heels in love at first sight, pursuing and receiving reciprocated affection, and living happily ever after.  Truth is, this type of romance is purely and simply fiction.  Falling in love (lust) at first[…]

Personal Growth & Conscious Relationships

Personal Growth The path of personal growth can be painful at times. The ancient Greek dramatist, Aeschylus, describes it as “wisdom through the awful grace of God.” I would modify this quote slightly for my own purposes to say “wisdom hard won through the awful grace of committed personal growth.” Commitment to one’s personal growth[…]

Love the Life You Have

Did you end up someplace you never anticipated? Maybe you were divorced after more than 20 years of marriage or are unexpectedly childless? Perhaps you are moving and living someplace totally unanticipated or discovering a new career after decades doing something else?  Are you finding yourself at mid-life with many of your dreams yet unrealized?[…]

Choosing from a Place of Love in Divorce

People going through divorce often ask me “what’s the key through getting through this process as best as possible?” After eighteen (18) years of practice I now believe the answer is a pretty simple, yet profound, question that can be asked of every decision, every action in divorce: What would Love would do? The question[…]

Marriages End – but does Love?

Marriages end, certainly. But does love ever really end between two people, even when they’re no longer together? What about the love they gave and received while together? What do you think? I would really like to hear from you, and have included my perspective in poem form. I don’t think love ever dies. I[…]

Are You Headed For Divorce?

Not everyone who comes into my office is destined for divorce. In fact, many people make an initial consultation to learn more about the process so that they can decide between whether to divorce or to stay in the marriage. What I’ve learned over the years is that most people don’t understand what makes a marriage[…]