Until Debt Do Us Part

Financial issues in a marriage definitely create conflict, which, if left unchecked and unresolved, can lead to divorce.  Specifically, the use (or misuse) of credit by one spouse is probably one of the top reasons my clients initially come to me for advice or representation. In most states, all liabilities acquired during the marriage are[…]

Personal Growth & Conscious Relationships

Personal Growth The path of personal growth can be painful at times. The ancient Greek dramatist, Aeschylus, describes it as “wisdom through the awful grace of God.” I would modify this quote slightly for my own purposes to say “wisdom hard won through the awful grace of committed personal growth.” Commitment to one’s personal growth[…]

Using the Golden Rule for a Wise Divorce

My recent Facebook post featuring a quote by Catherine Ponder raised a few eyebrows and even drew an expletive as a comment!  If you missed it, here’s the quote: “If you have to force someone or something into your life, that is not part of your good.  What you have to fight to get, you[…]

Divorce: Will the Kids Be Okay?

Are my kids going to be okay if we get divorced? This is probably the number one question most clients have when I meet with them for the first time. What I tell my clients is this:  The research is pretty clear.  Your kids will be changed as a result of the divorce.  Divorce is[…]

Taking Blame Out of the Equation – Divorce Wisely

We all do it, don’t we?  We blame.  Sometimes we blame ourselves.  Sometimes we blame others.  There’s a certain addictive quality to the righteousness, and the closure, both of which are part and parcel of fault-finding. Blame is defined as assigning responsibility for a fault or a wrong.  Blame can be directed at ourselves (self-blame)[…]

Divorce: Forgive For Your Own Good

When my clients ask me about what I would recommend for “required reading” during their divorce, I always mention Dr. Fred Luskin’s book, “Forgive for Good, A Proven Prescription for Health and Happiness.” Dr. Luskin is the co-founder and the director of the Stanford University Forgiveness Project, and conducts an ongoing series of workshops and[…]